Oh, how my mind can wander...

Today is my day of exhaustion.

The family that I nannied for when I first moved to Boston asked me to babysit last night so they could go to the theater. After checking to make sure they were NOT seeing Wicked (I would have been insanely jealous and therefore potentially NOT agreed to sit), I remembered how much I heart the kiddos and how long it had been since I'd seen them... and said yes. Despite what the rest of this post might suggest, I had a great time with the kids. We played dress up and I was a pirate who had to capture BatGirl and some Star Wars man with my special ruby necklace (ah, love them!), followed by dinner, stories, and bedtime.

Now, when I worked for the family, I could walk from my apartment to their house in 15 minutes on a sunny day (who knows how long on a snowy/icy/windy/rainy day); now that I've moved out of the city, the commute is about an hour and fifteen minutes by train. When confirming times and such, I stressed to the mom that I couldn't stay too late since I wake up before the sun in the mornings to get to work. She assured me that they have a rule to be home by 10 when a babysitter's there.

At 10:45 last night, I was still staring at the clock in their kitchen.

To make matters so, so much better, I started reading American Psycho a couple of days ago. (Sidenote: In my defense, it was in Brian's parents basement last summer and I thought "Ooh, sounds intense and thought-provoking. I'll give it a whirl." It was the most horrific, disturbing book I've ever opened. If I would have known what was truly going to happen once the pages started turning, I'd have left it in the basement.) So I'm sitting in the huge, dark, silent, decked-out-for-Halloween house, trying to convince myself that the noises I'm hearing are just the wind/animals outside/creaky pipes, thinking about every scary story I've heard since I moved to Boston, panicking about walking to the train IN THE DARK when I leave. They finally got home around10:50, paid me, and I BOLTED down their street to the train.

Having lived in Boston for three years now, I can assure you that taking the train past 10pm is one of the least safe/rewarding/enticing things that you can do. My dad has repeatedly said "Keep your guard up" forever, and that is literally all I could think of last night:

Stay in the well-lit spots
Be on the phone with someone if you're alone
Stand with crowds of people while waiting for the train, never off to the side
Sit near the conductor's window on the train

I was fine and safe and everything, but there are just certain types of people that ride the train after a certain time of night, and it's not the most safe-feeling place for a girl. At all. Brian knew my status and ETA, but as far as my parents were concerned, I was in bed watching TV and had been home for hours (for their own peace of mind). By the time Brian picked me up and we got back to the condo, it was 12:20.

I washed my face, crawled into bed, and burst into tears for the following reasons:

I had eaten a dinner of organic tortilla chips, an organic "Oreo", and a pink lemonade Jolly Rancher sucker. Brian made me dinner which I was too tired/it was too late to eat. I felt guilty and hungry and guilty again.

I was painfully aware that my alarm would be going off in 4 hours. Four hours, my friends.

I found a sticker on the seat of my jeans which one of the kiddos had so kindly attached while I cleaned up dinner dishes, which means the creepy train people saw it (as if they cared).

The creepy people on the train scared me.

My feet/back/eye hurt.

The psycho book made me sad for the fictional people IN the book.

My blubbering subsided, I reminded Brian that sometimes "these cries just need to happen", and sniffled myself to sleep. Needless to say, it was a rude awakening when that alarm went off this morning. Despite the last twelve hours, I put myself together this morning and actually don't feel quite as exhausted as I was expecting (I'm thinking that energy drop will occur riiiight about 1:30, my slow time of the day).

Starbucks is currently calling my name, and because I need a little pick-me-up today, I'm going to post a "Things I'm Loving Thursday" list... right after the caffeine kicks in.

Be back soon!