don't make me adult today

For the love, I just cannot adult any longer today.  

This morning, I woke up with a pounding headache after dreaming that gangsters broke into my parents house and there were frogs everywhere and I was trying to get to my parents room to wake up my dad but I couldn't make it in time.  I KNOW, right?  Like I woke up out of breath and my heart was absolutely racing.  As soon as I got out of bed, I knew that my headache was sidelining my gym plan for today.

After driving Brian to the train, I came home to make my breakfast and coffee, and I let Molly out to sun on the deck.  She keeps finding gaps in our (brand new) fence (it's like we don't even have one) and escaping, so I keep a pretty close eye on her when she's in the yard.  She went from sitting on the deck to charging out into the yard super fast, so I went out to see what she was looking at.  Well, I have to say that I wasn't expecting this (please feel free to scroll through should you dislike snakes and frogs as much as I do):

Our basement has windows that have these little half-circle cutouts into the yard.  This is the second time this spring that a snake has gotten stuck in there, but the first time a snake AND A FROG were there.  So Molly of course ran straight over to them and started barking, and half-jumped down into the hole, which caused me to freak out and grab her collar.  

We went inside because I sure as heck was not going to remove either the snake or the frog, and I thought that we were good.  She was on guard, but she calmed down and took a little nap while I did my blog-browsing for the morning.   

moment of calm before the day went to hell

I had an interview today at 2:30pm so I started getting ready around noon.  I knew that Molly needed to go out before I left, so before I jumped in the shower I decided to peek outside, thinking maybe they had figured out how to get out of the hole.  

Was that...
a) wishful thinking
b) absolutely fucking wrong
c) both of the above?

If you guessed C, you're the winner of being smarter than me because LOOK AT THIS HOT MESS (or don't because it seriously put me over the edge):

I cannot.  It ate the frog.  The SNAKE ate the FROG.  I don't know if this is normal nature or not, but I do know that frog-eating snakes are slithering around my backyard when my dog (and my barefeet) roam and I am not okay with this development.  

I (wisely) opted to walk Molly on the leash on the street behind our house instead of letting her in the yard, and she was all amped up and impossible on the leash.  Every wind gust spooked her, she kept running super hard and pulling on the leash... and this was all as I was walking her in my interview outfit.  Just as I started to make the turn to head back home, I felt the leash pull and realized that she'd stopped moving.  I turn around just in time to see her sit down with A DEAD MOLE in her mouth.  And I swear to you, she was holding it so gently in her mouth, like she had a prized possession and wanted to be ever-so-careful not to mess it up.  I (again) freaked out and told her to drop it, which she quickly did, and could not get home fast enough.  I walked back into the yard and took one last look at the hole and saw this:

It's safe to say that at this point, I was OVER TODAY.  I took Molly inside, threw on my shoes and was out the door in a matter of two minutes.  Driving to the interview, I followed the directions that the woman who coordinated it had given me and I could not find the building where I needed to be.  I finally called the building and I had unknowingly driven by it three times (kudos to me for that one).  When it was finally over and I got back in the car, I honestly just felt like I wanted to have a big ol' pity-party cryfest for myself.  The day has been all over the place, it's hot and muggy outside, and I was just so, so over it all.  

Once I got back home I let Molly outside to test the waters and she ran straight for the hole (obviously), went INTO the hole, then came back out drooling, so that's fantastic.  We're both going nuts because we're stuck inside with each other until Brian gets home to deal with the snake, and she has proceeded to (much like a small child) empty her toy basket all over the living room and bark/growl at me for attention for the last two hours.

Not even Ellen could make this day better.

So we're leaving shortly to make a trip through Starbucks and meet Brian at the train.  And as soon as we're back home, I'm swapping the Starbucks for a glass of chardonnay the size of my head.

Here's hoping Tuesday allows me a fresh start because today nearly sent me to crazytown.

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